So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
high people should be assigned attendants
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
