did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
honey bunches of taint.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
