Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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