ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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