You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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