ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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