Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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