ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
