i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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