I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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