He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
