I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
