I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
