i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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