I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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