Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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