You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
