Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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