I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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