Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
