so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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