I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ladies don't puke and tell
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
