you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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