Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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