Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
