I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
