I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
