He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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