do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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