just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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