Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
