Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
