How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
