I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
