He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
