I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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