Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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