that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
