Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
