tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
