I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
