I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just high enough for therapy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
