whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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