you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
