I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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