I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
