so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
