so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
