I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we're making bets on your personal life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
