There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
