OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
