Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
