just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
